Tweets of yore

October 20, 2009

So I decided to delete my Twitter account. It was yet another social networking site to keep up with, and I found myself less and less interested. Here is a collection of the only things on Twitter I ever said that were interesting (out of a very long list of boring-as-dead items).

Okay, yeah, you win.
4:27 PM Nov 11th, 2008

I suspect that the name “Quickly” is a bit of a misnomer.
1:44 PM Nov 14th, 2008

CAT TOILET http://tinyurl.com/675s4p
1:34 PM Nov 20th, 2008

Cute tee, brown dockers, black chucks: I look like a very cute lesbian today
.9:23 AM Nov 21st, 2008

Who plays TATU at a Day 1 party? LIFE TECHNOLOGIES, that’s who.
3:54 PM Nov 24th, 2008

Best Thing Ever: World’s Largest Moose: http://tinyurl.com/5j6gcd
3:22 PM Dec 1st, 2008

10:27 AM Dec 10th, 2008

I don’t think you should be allowed to wear a fur coat and flip flops at the same time, for more than one reason.
6:51 PM Dec 13th, 2008

All Hail President Worf. YAY!
10:25 PM Dec 15th, 2008

Toluene, why you gotta be a bitch?
1:42 PM Jan 21st

The bridge in Womanizer is completely unnecessary and, in fact, detracts from the rest of the song.
9:49 AM Feb 6th

Someone ended up at my Flickr by searching for “grandma soup machine.” I think I need to start a new band.
11:32 AM Feb 12th

I think Grandma Soup Machine should be alt-country, since that’s what I’m in the mood for.
12:21 PM Feb 12th

1:10 PM Feb 12th

Jerry, don’t eat the bedroom corn!
3:22 AM Mar 8th

Spock’s dad is Lionel Luthor! I’ve never said anything more geeky!
9:54 PM Mar 9th

I dreamed of tiny golden keyboards hidden inside sewing machines. Your chat was instantly embroidered.
9:18 AM Apr 3rd

What I learned this weekend: There’s a fine line between Axl Rose and Ethel Merman.
6:33 AM Apr 6th

Dive bombed by seven ducks.
3:49 PM Apr 22nd

I am drinking water out of a pickle jar. Well, a former pickle jar.
10:15 PM May 14th

I had a dream I was a ballerina and now I’m pretty sure I can do anything.
1:48 PM Jun 4th

8:43 AM Jun 5th

Eating the last of the cinnamon bears, and found a spare head floating around. It was tasty.
12:03 PM Jun 16th

I’m pretty sure I won’t drink a cocktail made with mayonnaise.
11:43 AM Jun 30th

OH: all black people on TV look like Jordi La Forge.
8:35 PM Jul 1st

OH: that’s my gay farmer porn music!
9:14 PM Aug 5th

Took an extra trip to the sixth floor of Macy’s for the marble bathroom. It may be my favorite bathroom in SF other than my house.
5:30 PM Aug 30th

Everyone needs their own autotune gadget. We shall carry them around in huge hats like T-Pain.
3:47 PM Sep 2nd

OH: Conclusion: Elton John is gay for camels.
2:33 PM Sep 3rd

Happy happening Hebrew hobo clown!
7:52 PM Sep 5th


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