Upon further, further thought…

December 17, 2008

So I recently sent this email to a special* confidant of mine on December 5th.

So there IS a lot to be stressed out about: I’m 31, and starting to feel like I want to settle down and make a home, and I have a partner who seems to be up in the air about it. Our company just went through a huge merger, and none of us know if our jobs are secure. My left knee has been acting achy lately, and my calves refuse to unclench. Christmas is fast approaching, and I have bought one gift, and I’m not sure what I’m going to be able to afford for those that I love. Then again, like usual, I have NO IDEA what to get ANYONE.

That being said, when I really thing about it, I’m doing pretty well. I’m only a grand in debt, and by the end of the week half of that will be paid off, I’m certainly not living paycheck to paycheck, and though things have been expensive lately, it’s not indicative of what’s to come. I have my job NOW, and I enjoy it, and even if I lose it, I work in an industry that isn’t hit as hard by recession as many others. Sure, my legs are tight, but I’m generally in good health. I have a fantastic family and friends, and a great boyfriend who loves me very much. And, of course, Jack. I can’t even remember what my life was like before him. He crawls under the covers with me in the mornings and curls up in my belly and makes me so happy I want to cry. The good kind of crying.

So maybe I can write off this noodleness as seasonal woes, both holiday and weather related, coupled with bad hormonal timing and a need for some stability.

All in all, I’m okay. And I’m glad that you’re my friend.

Since then:

  • We had  a Very Important Meeting at work, and by the end of June, 2/3 of the people in my department will be gone. Luckily, my group was spared (for now), but things are a bit strained here at work. People are upset, and rightly so.
  • A week after sending this email, I contracted some sort of stomach bug and proceeded to vomit away a weekend.
  • My cat, after spending a wonderful week sleeping at night and being wonderful, is back to up-all-night-and-wanting-to-play.
  • General malaise.

And yet, things are looking up for me. I’ve gotten Christmas shopping done, I found some pants that fit that didn’t cost arm and a leg**,  and I have a vacation planned in snowy Colorado shortly after Christmas. And as always, I have excellent friends, am in a stable relationship, and I love my family. So I’m just going to take some deep breaths, smile, and wait for the warmth to return.

* Special as in “near to my heart” not as in “handicapable.”
** Had I spent a leg, my pants would probably be cheaper.


One comment

  1. Mace!

    Good to see you feel things are going well. The last three months have been rather odd for me, but overall I think everyone I know is doing well if not better.

    I’m actually feeling fairly optimistic about 2009. I also think there needs to be more fancy dinnering!


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