Not a shrew

March 12, 2008

Someone managed to get to my blog by searching for “Taming the Mace.” Evidently this is one of the tasks you must master to get your Brown Belt in Kenpo, according to many of the 49,000 responses one can find on google.

According to this site, Taming the Mace is as follows:

    • Step to 9:00 with your left foot and bring your right foot toward your left into a right Cat Stance while doing a low left Inward Parry and a right inward glancing Middle Knuckle to attackers bicep. Rebound into a right Back Knuckle to temple as you step forward with your right foot into a right Neutral Bow facing 1:30. Make sure your right leg checks off their right leg.
    • Grab attackers shirt with both hands as you step to 3:00 with your left foot. Immediately unwind counter clockwise, throwing attacker against the wall behind you as you do a right Inward Elbow to attackers face and a right knee to attackers groin.
    • After the knee, do a right Front Cross Over and do a left spinning Rear Kick.

    This is completely wrong (crotch shot! No!). Here is how you Tame the Mace:

    • Give Mace a well-made lemon drop and some walnut blue cheese bread
    • Tell her that Jeopardy is on
    • Rub her belly until she falls asleep

    That’s considerably easier than a left spinning rear kick. Yes, indeedy.


    One comment

    1. I would imagine the effects of the lemon drop would be longer lasting (in a good way) than the horrible side effects of the kicking…(ouch!)

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