You know I love you, right?

So Mace is a little busy.

It’s a good thing, really; we have a huge show in December* and we’re mounting a bunch of new numbers, one of which will (hopefully) be a solo by yours truly. So I’m dancing four days a week, which makes me really happy (and prone to injury), but it also means that I have even less time to spend with the people I care about. Sometimes I feel like I’m a broken record, saying over and over “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I wish I could, I really do miss you.” But I mean it every time.

For October and November, here is when I want to see you: Wednesday nights**, Friday nights, Saturday nights, and all day Sunday. Please please please. I hate feeling out of touch. And of course, I’ll still be emailing up a storm.  I’m so thankful for the internet, otherwise I’d feel completely disconnected.

I have awesome friends.

* December 11-13th, more details after the promotion bonanza starts.
** Tenuous, since I do treat these as alone time nights.

Hooray and Oops

So it’s 1:35 in the morning and I’ve just gotten home from a marathon of Rock Band Beatles. We finished the basic story line, though it took four hours and a hefty amount of cookies. I drummed mostly, sang a little, tried to harmonize, plucked some easy guitar. And now it’s 1:40am and I can’t remember if I have a 8:00am meeting tomorrow or not. This would nice information to know.

Hey, good job, kfan and folks at Harmonix. Totally fun game!
And thanks to Miguel for letting me rock!

Is it better to forget?

So before there was Tumblr, before there was LiveJournal, there was Diaryland. I joined in 1999, when the Internet was (for me) shiny and new and there was nowhere to leave comments. I kept the diary to semi-publicly air my dirty laundry, and to kvetch about things that weren’t working in my life, knowing that there was a limited audience of people who were reading it.

I’m not going to link to it here. Those industrious people who’ve known me a long time could probably go and find it, but I’m not sure it’s worth it. Because here’s the thing: it’s horrible. It’s the mopey ranting of a 21 year old who needed to vent somewhere and kill time working in the computer center of her college. Having rediscovered it recently, I read every single post and it depressed the hell out of me.

What struck me most was how many things I didn’t remember. Many of them dusted off long-stored feelings that hadn’t seen light of day for quite some time. And many seemed completely new to me, even though I lived them. And it was kind of shocking. I had to spend about two days processing everything I had read before I could even talk to anyone about it. And then I had to wonder: is any of it worth remembering? What good is it to dredge up fears, fights and feelings from ten years ago?

I don’t have any simple answers. Do you? How much do you remember?

Some of my favorite search terms

I love that wordpress keeps track of what search terms led people to my site. Here are a few of my favorites:

• i killed my boyfriend (5)
• history oh the maces (4)
• depressing bedroom (3)
• ask for what happened in my house (3)

And my new favorite, just this week:

• why is it so hard to punch people in dreams

Beautiful. How did YOU get here?

Hearts and Chalk

This, to me, is pure honesty poetry:

I’ve never believed there is only one right person for each of us but rather, as we learn, as we grow, we arrive at a platform and standing across it, is the person with whom we’re supposed to continue the trip.

This whole thing makes me weepy in the best way possible.  Congratulations, Kevin and Cariwyl. Or as Trevor has dubbed you, Kevinwyl. I couldn’t be happier for you.

Things I neglect to do while sick

A short list.

• Bathe
• Brush my teeth
• Clean the cat box (with serious consequences)
• Answer my phone
• Clean the kitchen (or any part of the house, really)
• Take medication
• Eat healthy foods*
• Move around

Yeah, I’m feeling better, but it took a while. There were seven of us. SEVEN OF US.

* Unless you count endless corn tortillas with butter “healthy”

Alone in the fridge no more

Dear Napa Cabbage.

I’m sorry I ever doubted you. This is the second time you showed up at my house, and the first time, I shoved you in the crisper until you looked disgusting, and then composted you. To be honest, I had no idea what to do with you. But then, last night, craving ramen-y soup goodness, I chopped you up and tossed you in for the last three minutes of boiling. BRILLIANT IDEA. You were delicious and filling and really completed the soup. I’m sorry I ever doubted your usefulness. Never again, I swear.

Love,
Mace the Ramen-Lover

Mace: past, present and future

January 1st, 2009

I decided to try one of those “take a picture of myself every day” projects. Sure, it’s vain, but my guess is as the year goes by, I’ll get bored and start getting creative. Plus, if I open my Flickr and it’s just pictures of myself, I’ll get really annoyed and go out and take a picture of something else. Heck, maybe if my camera is out, I’ll just take pictures of other things naturally!

A few years ago, my friend Jenn and I were at an OKGo show (at a tiny club, before they made it big on the internet), and because it was cheap and all ages, we were easily the oldest people there. We couldn’t have been more than 27 at the time, as well, and man, did we flaunt our wristbands that told everyone we were over 21. Woo. At any rate, we’re watching one of the forgettable opening bands, and I realize that the girl standing about five feet in front of me looks exactly like I did in high school. I mention this to Jenn, and her eyes get wide and she says she’d just been thinking the same thing about the other girl in front of us. We contemplated being harbingers for awhile. We finally decided not to talk to the girls, because even though Jenn and I like how we turned out, we don’t know how our 16 year old selves would have reacted.

Last weekend, I walked from Market and Montgomery to North Beach, and then back down through Chinatown to Market. The walk was long, but pleasant. I met Trevor in North Beach, and we walked back together. At one intersection, a woman passed in front of me. She had short silver hair, fringed in pink. She was wearing a cute but practical coat, and neat looking shoes. I turned to Trevor. “That’s me in the future!” I wonder if she saw me and recognized me from her past.

Christmas Vacation, happy sigh.

Moon/venus, originally uploaded by maceelaine.

I’ve done a lot of traveling in my life, but it’s been almost exclusively with my family. So I had a slight bit of trepidation when Trevor and I decided to go visit my aunt and uncle. We’d been on long, long road trips before, but this involved a plane. I’m happy to report that all was well. In fact, I think it’s possible we got along better on this trip than we usually do in our normal lives. I think it was the sleep.

Because damn, we slept a lot. One of my favorite facets of vacation is not having to be up and ready to go at any particular time, and we took advantage of it. Even if we woke up semi-early (10?), we’d stay in bed and watch TV. So much reality television. Rotting our brains.

When we finally got our asses out of bed, we had access to my aunt’s car, and we drove all over that damn state. We hit the Museum of Science and Nature (and Fun!), walked Denver’s 16th street pedestrian mall, toodled around Boulder and had some amazing BBQ, went to the movies (twice!), walked and walked and walked, saw two frozen waterfalls, saw Red Rocks, ate Czech food, went to the Denver Art Museum*, played in the snow, drove for hours, froze our asses off in the mountains, were very comfortable otherwise. I didn’t take as many pictures as I thought I would.

Returning to work on Monday, I found my card key wouldn’t open the door, and my stomach just sank. Luckily I know the location of the jerryrigged door, so I could get in. I felt better when I could log into my computer, and it turned out that my card had just deactivated itself. And security could reactivate it from their desk! I didn’t even have to move. Hooray.

Now it’s Wednesday, and I kind of wish I was still in Denver.

Merry Christmas, Y’all

Mace’s Xmas Outfit, originally uploaded by maceelaine.